
Glass " " P> 1 145 
Book. .T3 TIL'S 



SMITHSONIAN DEPOSIT 



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CAROLINE: 



\A COMIC DRAMINA, 



IN TWO ACTS. 



ARRANGED BY 



0. A. BROWNSON, JR. 



COPIES SENT FREE, BY MATE OK EXPRESS, TO ANY ADDRESS, 

OX RECEIPT OF PRICE, FIFTEEN CENTS PER COPY, 

BY 

PALMER & BROTHER, 

DUBUQUE, IOWA. 

rs^a aas-aya &*g- 




<£ 



CAROLINE: 



A COMIC DRAMINA, 



IN TWO ACTS. 



' 



BY 0. A. BROWNSON, JR., 



Author of "ANNIE" and other Draminas. 



PALMER & BRO., Publisheks, 

DUBUQUE. 
1870. 






Entered according to act of Congress, in the year 1869, by 
O. A. Brownson, Jr., in the Clerk's office of the District Court 
of the United States for the District of Iowa. 



Herald Fritting House. 






DRAMATIS PERSONA 

John Grealey, the sick man, guileless. 
Fritz Freileicht, a philosopher, fat and fair. 
Larry O'Keoghan, a servant, frolicsome. 
Caroline, housekeeper for Grealey, honest. 
Miss Julia, a rich spinster, nervous and delicate. 
Margaret, servant to Miss Julia, a doubtful pearl. 
Quimby and Eollo, mischievous spiders. 
Policemen, a la Matsell et Baker. 



Costumes, of the present day. 



STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

L. means Entrance Left ; B. Entrance Bight; C. 
Center; E. C. Eight Center ; L. TJ. E. Left Upper 
Entrance ; E, S. E. Bight Second Entrance ; &c. 

The reader is supposed to be on the stage facing 
the audience. 



CAROLINE. 



ACT I. 

Scene I. — John Grealey, a well to do bachelor, 
at breakfast in his own house ; enter Larry, l. ? 
a fine broth of a boy, dancing a jig ; a letter in 
one hand and a shillaley in the other. 

Larry. An might yer name be Grealey or fwat, 
I dun know ? 

Grealey. [rising suddenly'] Get out fellow ; leave 
this room ; what do you mean by disturbing a gen- 
tleman in this manner ? 

Larry. D'ye hear that? Agintleman! Bad luck 
to the likes of ye ! Were ye a gintleman its mesilf 
wud be listenin to a small invitation to be breakin 
the fast av me — sorry a differ — see that, honey; [show- 
ing the letter, he tears off the envelop, which he gives 
Grealey] — d'ye mind the hand write ? From me lady 
Julia; long life to her. [Whistles while Grealey 
examines the envelop ; recognizing the handwriting, he 
drops the envelop and reaches for the letter.'] 

Grealey. Ah ! yes, give it to me — it is all right 
my good man, it is for me 

Larry, [holding the letter off] Good man! did he 
say ? more like tired and hungry 

Grealey. Certainly, my friend, sit down, rest and 
eat. [Larry gives him the letter, sits down with his hat 
on, and eats freely.] 

Grealey. [Coming down c. reads, overpowered with 

joy.] 

Most kind Friend : 

The extraordinary and magnificent plants, that 
you so politely sent me some time ago, have bloomed 



6 CAKOLINE : 

and blossomed, shedding promiscuous beauty, delight 
and joyous wonder everywhere around the enchan- 
ted beholders. 

The Asiatic flower illusion seems a miracle indeed. 
I am at a loss, which more to admire, your vast re- 
search in discovering such rare and exquisite flora, 
or your unprecedented generosity in enabling me, a 
comparative stranger, to profit by your unremitting 
studies. 

I have charged my servant Larry, the Nearer of 
this, to pay you at once, and to request of you, that 
if you should again discover other rare and beautiful 
plants to send some to your well wisher, Julia. 

[ folding the letter to his heart as Larry rings the little 
bell on the table] Gentle and appreciative Miss Julia, 
my lamps shall burn the freq uent midnight oil in thy 
behalf. [Enter Caroline r. c, his house keeper, a fat 
Butch girl ; she picks up the envelop and not noticing 
Larr-/, speaks to Grealey.] 

Caroline, [see engraving Page 4] Did you ring? — 

Larry. Av coorse, me angel, be sittin at the ind 
av tho table for company like — [She looks puzzled and 
astonished.'] 

Grealey. [Shaking Larry] What do you mean ? 
I givo all necessary orders in this house, Sir. 

Larry, [rising] Arrah ! thin its home I'll go ; 
and be the token, it's to Miss Julia, I'll be relatin yer 
ondacint tratement av mesilf, half starved, a comin 
to yer house. She be spaking to me av yer honor, 
she b^, and says she, [Grealey listens very attentively, 
white Caroline fixes things in order on] the table] 
TaABB&j says she, do ye be thinkin, is that Grealey a 
gintleman? an do he be a lovin av me ? Ah ! acushla 

machrce, says I, to Miss Julia, says I but I'll be 

goin home to finish me breakfast, [going] 

Grealey. [Animated] No, no sir; sit down and eat. 
What did your mistress remark concerning me? 

Larry. [Smilingly to Caroline] Sit down, honey ; 
be ating ; the auld miser '11 niver miss fwat yer deli- 
cate stumic might consale. 

Grealey. Yes, Caroline, sit down and humor this 
eccentric foreigner a little. {They sit at opposite sides 



A COMIC DKAMINA. 7 

of the table] Grealey stands anxious, Caroline is sup- 
prised and Larry feels full of mischief] JSTow my 
good man, what did your mistress observe about me ? 
Tell me all she said 

Larry. Bad luck to yer education, to be botherin 
a gintleman, an him in the swate presince av a lady ! 
See, me darlin, is it more sugar ye have in that cup ? 
[to Grealey] Be aisy now ; says I to Miss Julia, 
says I, [to Caroline] divil fear the sugar, me swate 
Coraleen, [turning] says I to Miss Julia, says I — If 
so be ye love the gintleman, and says I to Miss Julia, 
says I — If so be the gintleman loves you — [drinks, 
and scrapes the sugar out of the bottom of the cup with 
his finger] Ah ! Coraleen, ma vourneen, but yer 
thecke is better nor yer thenn — [turning] says I to 
Miss Julia, says I — [rises] Och, hone ! its goin I be 
ready — wud yer honor be lindin me the loan av a 
shillin or two, fwhile I be drinkin the health of mis- 
tress Grealey? Long life to the pretty face av her; 
were she a widder — [Grealey pulls out a roll of bills] 
— more power to ye, niver mind the change, a five or 
a tin will do as well ; an I cud be drinkin the health 
av the whole family — the small Grealeys, God bless 
em. [taking a bill] Good bye, me swate Coraleen ; 
may yer shadow niver grow less, an may 

Grealey. Stay, my good man — wait a little; does 
your mistress love me, do you say ? 

Larry. Ask her ; divil a know I know — does } r er 
swate Coraleen love me, I dun know ? [goes up to her] 
F whist, honey, wud ye be comin to me aunt's w T ake 
the night? Divil a more finer ! [dances around her] 

Caroline, [pushing him off] You make very free 
with strangers. How would you like for me to tell 
my Fritz ? 

Larry, [dancing on out, r. s. e.] — Arrah ! fits is it 
ye have, oh ! musha, musha, fits is it ? [exit] 

Grealey. This is a very impudent fellow, Caroline, 
and but for the sake of his mistress, the adorable 
Miss Julia, we ought to have kicked him out. Such 
manners ; he did not even wait for an answer ! I fear 
Miss Julia will be much offended. Eun, get my over- 
coat and umbrella ; I must go and see her [exit Caro- 



8 CAKOLIKE : 

line, r.] and make a personal explanation. What a 
glorious excuse I now have at last to visit her ! She 
must be a great lady. Such beautiful and eloquent 
language as her letter contains could only have been 
inspired by some angelic form, some divine human. 
I shall see her, and what future destiny may await 
the world should we be united? The offsprings of met- 
aphysical genius and celestial refinement, typified by 
the floral exotics, cause of this affinity, who can tell ? 
Perhaps immutable destiny has so decreed — perhaps 

— [Enter Caroline, r., who fixes him up to go out] take 
good care of things till I return. This day may de- 
cide the unknown fate of nations, let me onward — 
[exit, r.] 

Caroline. [Fixes up things, then looks out r., seeing 
Grealey gone, she calls at l. s. e.] Fritz, Fritz, mein 
lieben Fritz, koom herine, der alte mann ist ausge- 
spielt. [Enter Fritz, l. u. e., a burly Dutchman with 
a big pipe in his ?nouth.~] 

Fritz. Wie gates, meine Frauline, wie gates all 
der wiles, I dinks immer von you, meine Caroleen. 

Caroline. Du bist mein liebsten Fritz, koom ge- 
schwind, wir wollen etwas essen. [They eat and drink, 
she sparingly, he plentifully; then they sit away from the 
table, c] 

Fritz. Vat you dinks, dem old mans ist gone by 
dem Eoste Office ? He koom pecke mit der Consta- 
bler purdy soon already ? Hey ? 

Caroline. ]STo, he has gone to see his Sehatzchen, 
and won't be back for a long time. 

Fritz. So, his Liebchen to sehen — yaw I likes him 
— he is bully fellow — when mine tog Laus she was 
here [he whistles for a dog~] she is a tog — I donne see 
no such a togs by this countrie — 

Caroline. [sighing] I tell you Fritz, I wish I was 
in Heaven — in Himmel already — 

Fritz. I vish I vas in das beer hause — 

Caroline. Oh ! Fritz, how can you talk so ? 

Fritz. Ich bin philosoph, und always vishes mine 
self in der pest place. [She turns away.'] Well, you 
goes Sunday mit mir by dem beer gartens, und now 
you reads me sometings from mine book, und sings 



A COMIC DRAMINA. 9 

me some loblied, vile I schleeps some little already. 
[He gives her a scrap book, which being unrolled, shows 
pictures of dogs \ then he goes in l. c, takes off his over- 
coat and lies down to sleep. She reads a few verses in 
German about the dogs, then comes down c, and sings.] 

SONG CAROLINE. 

Kind friends, from far across the sea, 
Homeward return in song with me, 
Sweet home of all we hold most dear ! 
Great Fatherland once more appear. 

[Fritz sings'] Of Brezels yaw, und lager beer. 

Beyond the rolling Ocean's wave 
Beyond the bounds that Nature gave 
To toiling man in days of yore, 
Come see the homes, we'll see no more. 

[Fritz sings'] Lager und Brezel hide der shore. 

Oh ! blessed happy home of mine, 
Where whirls the rapid roaring Rhine ; 
Where lofty mountains sweep the sky ; 
My parents' cottage there I spy, 

My mother kind and father dear 
In ail their early health appear ; 
Brothers and sisters crowd around, 
To greet and kiss the lost, now found. 

Across the green, beneath the hill, 
I see my sweetheart's cottage still, 
The grape vines half conceal the door 
Where stands my love, as oft before. 

His soft blue eyes and flaxen hair, 
His soul of love so free from care, 
Invite me o'er, once more we stand 
In sweet embrace of heart and hand. 

Dear angel Fritz, sweet love of mine, 
Say on again, "I love thee, Caroline ;" 
No other voice can charm my ear, 
No other love may seem so dear. 

[Seeing that Fritz is fast asleep she closes the door 
very carefully.] 



10 CAKOLUNTE : 

Caroline. I must go and see about the dinner while 
my Fritz is sleeping. I wonder if master will be 
back soon, I guess not, for he is nearly crazy about 
that Miss J ulia. Wont she get a prize when she gets 
old Grealey ? I wouldn't mind having his money, but 
no Mrs. Grealey for me, not any. {dances; as she looks 
in at Fhitz, who snores, the scene changes.'] 

Scene II. — A village roadside. — Enter two row- 
dies, Quimby, r., Rollo, l.; they meet c. 

Quimby. Say Eollo would you like some fan ? 

Rollo. Fun ? You bet, what is it ? 

Quimby. You know old Grealey, that lives up on 
the hill, the old book worm, flower garden jackass ? 
Well, the old sinner is coming around the corner puf- 
fing and blowing like he was sent for and couldn't 
get there fast enough. 

Eollo. The old curmudgeon! left handed cod- 
lasher ! Shall we make him drunk and then play him 
& game of poker or billiards? 

Quimby. He won't drink, but I'll tell you what to 
try — we'll fool him slick — do you hide and when he 
comes up, tell him he looks sick ; make him believe 
he is dying ; gammon him good ; I will go on, meet 
him, and tell him the same thing. 

Hollo. Hurrah ! we'll scare the gizzard out of the 
old cove; all right, go ahead; I'll hide. [Eollo hides L., 
and Quimby goes on meeting Grealey, as he enters r. ? 
in great haste] 

Quimby. Ah ! good day, Mr. {jumping back and 

jerking his hand away] — what's the matter Grealey? 
You look sick to-day ? What's up ? Why I you are as 
white as my shirt! [which is dirty looking] 

Grealey. Nothing's the matter with me ; on the 
contrary I never felt better or more vigorous in all 
my life 

Quimby. Something's coming sure, you are as 
pale as Death — perhaps you are catching the cholera 
— Believe me, go home, take some medicine and wrap 
up warm in bed. How could they let you go out 
looking that way ? [Exit Quimby r., in a great hurry, 
holding his nose.] 



A COMIC DRAMINA. 11 

Grealey. May be I am catching some disease, but 
I think friend Quimby is mistaken. Perhaps I love 
my Julia over much — sweet unwinged angel upon, 
earth — such consolation hast thou, that none could 
wish thee fairy wing to carry our delight beyond the 
cerulean ether away. [He starts on and Eollo enters 
l., they meet l. c, and shake hands.] 

Hollo. [Starting back'] Good Heavens ! Grealey, 
what ails you ? Mercy on us ! how yellow and pale 
you look ! How long have you felt it ? Shall I run 
for a doctor? 

Grealey. I don't see what can be the matter ? I 
expect I am sick. Mr. Quimby was just talking 
with me, and he remarked the same paleness ; I'll go 
home and doctor up — Do you think it is anything 
serious ? 

Hollo. I dont know ; hydrophobia perhaps — you 
look awful; I must go, for it may be some contagious 
disease — small pox, yellow fever or such, [runs out l.] 

Grealey. Some — contagious — disease; [looks between 
Ms fingers'] — it can't be the itch, that always comes 
here first. I've had the measles and the whooping 
cough, [putting his hand on his heart] heart disease — 
yes that's it ; I'll hurry home. Confound that Caro- 
line to let me come out sick in this way — pale as 
death ; fever — cholera, — all contagious diseases. 

[exit r.j hurriedly.] 

Sceee III. — Room in Grealey's house. — 

Enter Caroline r. e. 

Caroline. I wonder if my Fritz sleeps yet, (opens 
the door softly, then turns to see if any one is coming.') 
Oh! yes, how sweetly he sleeps, as innocent as a sheep. 
If it were not for waking him, I would give him a 
kiss, the dear sweet child, (brings out his overcoat)let 
me see what he has here, ( pulls out a huge pipe) poor 
boy; this is his consolation when he gets lonely; 
(pulls out a long string of Bologna sausage, at which 
she wonders much,) this is his provision when he is 
hungry ; (takes out a bottle) schnapps, T guess, (smells 
and takes a drink) gin cordial ; much better than la- 
ger beer, (pulls out a quantity of onions, they roll 



12 CAEOLINE: 

around over the floor; she is astonished at the number) 
no wonder he is fat ! ( picks them up and fills her apron 
with all these things) I'll go cook them for him, he'll 
be so hungry, when he wakes up. {closes the door L. 
c, very carefully, and exit r. c. Then enter Grealey, 
r., much excited, rings the bell furiously, Caroline 
comes in quickly r. c.) 

Grealey. {pulling out a strap) Ah! you unfeeling, 
careless woman, after all I have done for you; look 
at me; (beating her) here am 1 as sick as man can be, 
and you would not tell me ! (beats her) Look at me, 
I am as pale as a sheet. I have the small pox, itch, 
cholera, and all kinds of contagious diseases, and you 
would not say so ! Everybody remarked my ghast- 
ly appearance. What do you mean by letting me 
go out in this condition? (beats her) 

Caroline. Indeed, good sir, don't beat me; I didn't 
know you were unwell — 

Grealey. But look at me, see how pale I am, sup- 
pose Miss Julia had seen me sick this way — the sweet- 
est, fondest dream of my life was destroyed; the hope 
and end of my existence paralyzed, (beats her) I'll 
teach you to tell me the next time I am sick. Eun, 
bring me a quilt; try to do something to cure an un- 
fortunate, heart broken, bodily diseased, afflicted hu- 
man — (exit Caroline r. s. e.) — to let a man go out 
doors as pale as Death ! yellow and pale, white as a 
shirt, taking the cholera — yes, I feel it now — Oh ! 
cruel fate, just as fortune's fairest favors — (Enter Car- 
oline r. s. e., with a quilt, in which she wraps him up, 
and leads him to the rocking chair with great tenderness 
and care.) JSTow, cruel, heartless woman, bring me 
some lively medicine, some hot tea, to start the cir- 
culation ; hurry, run quick or all is lost. (Exit Caro- 
line r. c, in great anxiety. Me rumbles, and grum- 
bles and groans, as Fritz comes out l. a, half asleep 
and trying to wake up, puts on his overcoat.) 

Fritz. Ich habe gut geschlafen. (feeling in the 
pockets of his overcoat) Dunder und blitzen ! Vo ist 
mein schnapps? Und Himmel! mein Eologna ? Car- 
oleen — Caroleen — I donna understan — gevatter ohne 
gewissensangst und sich 



A COMIC DKAMINA. 13 

Grealey. {Looking up) Yes, I am sick, I am cra- 
zy, delirious, demented — I see the devil — there he is 
— he speaks Dutch — a Dutch devil ! (He covers up 
his head as Fritz hides l. c.) Oh ! horrid visions, go 
away ! (He gets up, and looks all around.) All quiet 
now, oh ! terrific sights of madness and despair, may 
ye never more return. Alas ! how unfortunate to 
lose my reason ! How doubly, trebly unfortunate, that 
this should happen before Miss Julia could have seen 
me in days of by gone sanity! (looks around again) 
Nothing, yet I am sure he was here, large and fat 
and round, (sinks back, exhausted into the chair and 
covers himself up — groans occasionally. Enter Larry, 
r., whistling and dancing, sees Grealey,) 

Larry. Hooray! auld Grealey, mealey, scjuealey, 
get up out av that, here's yer frind, an Miss Julia's 
compliments, (slapping him) Say, ye drowsy headed 
bat av an owl, slaping be daylight, wake up out av 
that, an give me somethin to drink. (Grealey hides 
still more under the quilt) Bad luck to the dirty man- 
ners av yer mother's son ; so ye won't get up out of 
that ? Eegorra, its mesilf that'll help mesilf thin. 
Silence give consint. (He looks around and seeing 
Fritz, l. a, he jumps back) Ah ! bedad, more noc- 
turnal '.birds— aves accipitres — be the token, mister, 
fwat bizness have ye there ? Come out avthat, or be 
the O'Flynns, the O'Flaherties, the O'Flannagans 
an the Q'Laughlins, I'll waken ye. (Brags him out) 
"Who be ye ? Is it spooney ye are, or spoons ye are 
after ? (Enter Caroline, r. c, who seeing the condi- 
tion of her Fritz throws the basin of hot tea over Larry. 
Grealey groans from time to time.) 

Caroline. Let my Fritz alone, go away and let 
him alone 

Larry, (jumping around) Och! hone, me swate 
Caroleen — bad luck to the wather — scaldin the hide 
av me like Murphy's pig beyant — (Rims out r.) 

Grealey. (looking up) Oh ! Caroline, Caroline, 
bring me the tea, I am so sick and crazy — I — I have 
seen the devil while you were away. First he spoke 
Dutch, then disappeared but soon returned under the 
form of that horrid Irishman — then all the devils 



14 CAROLINE : 

came at once — oh ! I am so sick — if Miss Julia only 
knew 

Caroline. Here is a distinguished physician just 
arrived from travels abroad — horse doctor, {aside) He 
says you will be well soon, for he can easily cure you. 
But first you had better go to bed in your own 
room. 

Fritz, (boldly') Yaw, Ich bin der doctor, besser 
you go in dem ped, take much blenty cut straw und 
molass, I bring pill dese ebning 

Grealey. Cut straw and molasses ! Oh ! Caroline, 
how can I ? Oh ! I shall die, I know 1 shall, cut straw 
and molasses, and pills, {sinks exhausted as curtain 
falls.) 

Music— "The Deutch Countrie &c." 

ACT II. 
Scene I — The village green , Larry w dancing a 

jig as the curtain rises. 

Larry. Saint Patrick's day, bout twelve o'clock 
in the mornin, an divil a fight yet. {Enter Quimby 
and Eollo, l. s. e.) Who'll spit in me hat ? {Offer- 
ing his hat to them.) 

Quimby. You're a jolly customer; give us a song 
and that dance over again. {They sing and dance to- 
gether.) 

Hollo. Here is a man after our own mind. Shall 
I let you into a little secret? Something of advan^ 
tage to you as well as to us ? But you inust swear 
never to reveal it, or death is sure. What say, friend ? 
Tarry. {Sings) 

Saycrets, me darlins, fear not me, 

I revales thim niver, macree, 

Be telegraph an be stairie cars ; 

In doors, out doors, up stairs, down stairs; 

From first to last, from ind to ind, 

I'm sure to serve a trustin frind, 

As sure as fall in off a log, 

In slippery times av rain or fog 

Hollo, {to Quimby) Shall we trust him ? 
Quimby. We will. Now, young man, side with us, 
do the fair thing, and all our fortunes are made. 



A COMIC DKAMINA. 15 

(Larry nods consent) There is an old woman, that 
lives not far from here, who has so much money, she 
don't know what to do with it, or with herself either. 
"What we propose to do is to manage hoth for her. 
If you will help us, we can carry her and her money 
off safe to a secret retreat this very night. 

Hollo. And you shall have your equal share. 
(Larry nods consent and grasps his shillalah more firm- 
ly) We will all three go to Miss Julia's house as 
soon as it is dark ; you can pretend that we are po- 
lice officers sent to arrest her cook maid, and then 
we can easily take the women and valuables to our 
island cave. This is our secret. 

Larry. Niver fear tellin that saycret. Ah ! me 
divii's picters, it's yersilves are the precious pair of 
vagabones intirely. Eob me lady Julia, is it? Me, 
Larry, carry off the swate mistress ; me take the 
gould an pace of herself an family ? Arrah ! ye 
may whin Larry's dead. Bad luck to the saycret, 
(He goes for them with his shillalah. They draw knives 
and fight him out r.) 

Scene II. — Room in Miss Julia's house ; she is 
dressed like a fussy old maid of iwenty-five to 
thirty years of age, very neat and particular ; 
elegant furniture, flowers, fyc. 

Julia. (Beads Grealey's letter with much unction.) 
Most respected lady Julia : 

The hope that your well know T n 
partiality and desire for floral beauties and blooming 
rarities would pardon this seeming intrusion, has 
permitted a neighbor to send you a few specimens of 
real and artificial plants, the knowledge of which a 
fortunate course of extensive reading and study has 
alone developed. 

My housekeeper, Caroline, the bearer of this, 
will, with your permission, illustrate the manner 
of producing instantaneous growth of plants and 
flowers, as practiced in oriental regions. 
With profound regard, 

John Grealey, l. l. d. 



16 CAROLINE : 

What a kind hearted gentleman to send me such 
beautiful flowers! "What a wonderful discovery is 
that instantaneous production ! Would that Law- 
rence had returned. I am so anxious to hear how 
my letter pleased the dear man. {Clasps the letter' to 
her heart as Margaret enters r. c. with a hot brick, 
which she fixes to her mistress' feet.) Go, Margaret 
and see if Lawrence is coming yet. What can so 
delay him from returning ? (Exit Margaret l.) 
Here am I most lonely. None to read or sing to 
me; none to care for me when I am sick; surround- 
ed by hired labor alone, what real affection can I 
claim? Oh! for the love of one true, devoted heart. 
Could my dear Grealey only know how lonesome I 
am here, how isolated from man and the world — if 
he only knew how truly and sincerely his kindness 
is appreciated and how warmly it would he returned, 
how quickly would he fly hither and hear me hence! 
(Sighs and sinks back in the rocking chair ; enter Mar- 
garet l.) 

Margaret, He cannot be seen anywhere, but the 
cook will send him up as soon as he comes. 

Julia. Bring my mirror. (She looks in and ad- 
JKt§t$ a stray curl.) I am sure I bear my age well, 
nor am I old looking — merely coming to years of 
discretion. What can delay Lawrence? Go, look 
again, aud bring me some nourishment. (Exit Mar- 
garet l. after 'putting away the mirror.) The clear 
good man to send such beautiful flowers and he 
asked no pay. (Beads Grealey's letter again, as 
]>1argaret enters with one cracker and a little tea for 
Julia. While she is eating, enter Larey l., all dirty 
and bloody from the fight.) 

Larry, (bowing) May it plaze yer ladyship, Mis- 
sus, the gintleinan was overcome entirely wid hearin 
from yer ladyship, an he thanks yer ladyship, wid 
all his heart, so he does ; begorra, an more power — 

Jidia. But why are you so bloody ? What has 
happened ? You are all cut in the side. It may kill 
yon. 

Larry. Arrah ! mini, spake to me that soft way 
aggii, yer ladyship. Oh, man ! but wasn't it an 



A COMIC DKAMINA. 17 

illigant fight entirely. Two forninst me ; thim wid 
knives a drivin av me, till I got in a few welts av me 
swate shillalah. {Goes over the fight in pantomime, 
jumping around.') 

Julia. Stop, Lawrence, what was it all about ? 
Why were you fighting ? You know I never allow 
my servants to fight. 

Larry. Faix ! we was fightin about the saycret 
— ah, the divil's own saycret intirely. The murderin 
spalpeen that give me the stab in the bread basket 
I tho't he'd open the stumic av me intirely ! Oh! 
swate shillalah — sure, mim, ye'd be after lettin me 
fight thim blaggards once more onyhow? (Fights 
in pantomime again) 

Julia. Well, Lawrence, I will forgive you this 
time, but I cannot allow you to fight any more. Re- 
member, on no account whatsoever. Now, tell me, 
what did Mr. Grealey say? Did I send money 
enough ? 

Larry. Och, bedad ! as for the money, he tould me 
to kape that same in love for yer ladyship. 

Julia. What did he say ? Every word. 

Larry. First, he thanked me, an thin he made 
all manner av poultry about yer ladyship, so he did. 
Long life to him. Troth ! he was inchanted wid the 
illigant discription, I give him av yer ladyship. He 
was comin to see ye, whin, asthore he took the 
cramps. Bad luck to thim same. 

Julia. Took the cramps ! What's that ? 

Larry. Ye see, savin yer presince, me ladyship, 
an Mistress Margaret there, he was in such a flutter 
to make yer ladyship a visit, that he took a palpyta- 
tion av the heart, an is sick in bed for ye, so he is. 
{Shoios cramps.) 

Julia. How dreadful! and all for me, you say? 
Go, get my carnage ready. I feel I must see him. 
How shocking! A lone woman like me to be the 
cause of such and so great suffering's. But he shall 
not die — no, no, not die. {She falls on her knees be- 
tween them, with uplifted hands, in the greatest agony.) 

(Tableau.) 



18 CAEOLINE : 

Scene III. — Street in the village. Enter Quimby 
and Rollo r., with their heads bound up, and 
clothes torn and bloody. They stop c. 

Hollo. Say, Quimby, we might as well leave this 
part of the country, where one man with a stick can 
beat two with knives. 

Quimby. Yes, I agree. Let's sell out and go, but 
before we start, that cursed Irishman must die. 

Rollo. Them's my sentiments. Keep dark; 
mum's the word. (While they are talking tivo police- 
men enter unperceived, and take them prisoners) 

First Policeman, [showing ivarrant] Escaped from 
Fort Madison a year ago, and who is this you want 
to murder now? (They turn pale as they are hand- 
cuffed, and led away by the Policemen. Exeunt l.) 

Scejve IV. — Room in Grealey's house — Caroline 
is discovered dusting the chairs, and Fritz be- 
hind a table, that has several flower pots upon 
it, but there are only very small sprouts in them. 

Fritz. Kook a mal here, meine Caroleen. How 
you like dem, hey ? Yen mein togs Laus vas see 
dem, she vould nor vant to pe a togs some mores 
already. {He performs the magic trick of instantane- 
ous growth of flowers, by having in a hollow paper frus- 
trum of a cone, a beautiful flower, which he places over 
a flower pot, and then by removing thefrustrum, exposes 
the flower to view. After this they come down c.) Ey 
Jinks, Caroleen, I make dem flower bully, hey? I 
dinks we all right now, hey? 

Caroline. Shouldn't wonder. (They sing and dance 
together.) Look Fritz. Oh, what shall we do ? here 
comes — here comes that old fussy woman, Grealey's 
Miss Julia. I thought I'd never get away from her 
long tongue when I was over there. She'll spoil 
everything. Her servant woman — 

Fritz. I cares nottings ; the more fraus the bes- 
ser I likes him. Yas you makes mit me now ? Bin 
ich der doctor all der wiles ? 

Caroline. Yes, of course, you must help me and 
we'll manage them some way. If it were not for 



A COMIC DKAMINA. 19 

that Irishman, it would not be so bad, but come, let 
us fix what we can. (She gives him things to arrange, 
and he puts them back awkwardly in the same place. 
As she lets in Miss Julia, Margaret and Larry r., 
Fritz is helping himself to schnapps from the side 
table.) 

Larry. Where's Grealey, mealey, squealey ? Say, 
old saur craut, where's yer boss ? [hitting him a rap 
in the stomach with his shillalah.] 

Fritz. Das weisz ich nicht. Ich bin der doctor. 
I gif you all so many pill vat you like. Besser you 
hit me not some more already mit dem stock-cane. 
Do you know it ? [Getting belligerant] 

Larry, [drinking and smacking his lips'] Bedad ! 
it's colics I have for lack av that same. 

Julia. Where is the dear man ? Is he better ? 
Tell me, sir doctor, is he dangerously ill ? 

Fritz. Yaw. He ist besser als gut. Sprechen 
mit Caroleen. [Julia sits back in the rocking chair, 
l. c, fanning herself. Grealey raps at the door r. s. 
e. calling Caroline. Fritz goes up to Miss Julia, 
takes out and opens his big pocket knife.] 

Fritz, You be much sick, ferry krank, I must 
pleed you some littles ; in mine guntry I always cures 
my mules that way. (She screams and faints as Grea- 
ley comes in r. s. e., in his night cap and dressing 
gown) 

Grealey. What's the matter here ? What means 
all this confusion ?~ Here am I as sick as man can 
be ! Such a rumpus ! Who are all these strange peo- 
ple, Caroline ? Why are they here ? 

Caroline. This i^s Miss Julia, come to see you and 
to take care of 

Grealey. (understanding that Margaret is Miss 
Julia, goes up to Margaret and takes her hand.) My 
dear lady, I am sorry to have given you so much 
trouble, but this is all providential. What is to be, 
is to be; and we might as well yield to fate. Will 
you not remain here forever? Be mine, and I yours 
— never had I such esteem for any lady before. Do 
not destroy all my fondest hopes ? 

Margaret. As you wish. What is to be, is to be; 



20 CAROLINE : 

and if I must I must. But what ails you ? Where 
do you feel sick ? 

Grealey. I feel well enough, but they say I look 
sick, I resign myself to you. 

Margaret. Very well ; please send all these peo- 

Ele away, I will take care of you myself. No other 
and 

Caroline. Well, I am ready to go. The biggest 
fool of all the fools is the one that dont know he is 
a fool. Come, Fritz, let us go elsewhere and be hap- 
py. Farewell, sick man, that has no ailing. 

Fritz. Yaw, das ist besser. Ausgehen nach Deutch- 
land ; und ven I sees no fraulein I likes besser als 
you, I makes you mine frau bimeby already. 

Margaret. Yes, go, and we dont want that fussy 
old woman either. 

Larry. Bedad 'tis well said, and true for yer. Do 
ye be makin the most of the sick man ; it's Miss Ju- 
lia '11 niver want for a frind and protector fwile Lar- 
ry O'Keoghan can hould a shillalah- 



Grealey. Miss Julia there ? I thought- 



Larry. Divil bother yer thoughts. Take yer 
Miss Julia; the doctor there his swateheart, an it's 
mesilf can tell the ginuine lady 

Miss Julia. Thank your kind heart, and, Larry 
dear, you shall have the genuine lady forever, [giving 
Mm her hand] 

Larry. Hooray! Hooray ! sind for the praste fwile 
the iron's hot. 

[They all dance, while the curtain is falling. ~\ 



FINIS. 



CORIGLANUS : 



AN HISTOEICAL DEAMINA, 



BY 0. A. BROWNSON, JR. 



« « 9 & fr 



Scene I. — Court in Ancient Rome. People 3 Tri- 
bunes, Coriolanus, fyc. 

Attius. Most noble judge and honored citizens : 
In the name of Borne I accuse the prisoner Coriola- 
nus of conspiring against the rights of our people. 
Behold the infamy of that proud aristocrat ! When 
famine, dire and dreadful; when cruel hunger was 
upon us ; when Eomans, whom neither Sabine war- 
riors nor Etruscan cohorts dared face in battle array ; 
when we, soldiers and citizens of Eome, beloved 
progeny of Mars and Minerva, were overpowered 
and prostrated by starvation, then — when kind gods 
had moved the heart of a Sicilian prince to send us 
grain — this monster forbade us food, denied us life ! 
A foreign nation sends corn to starving Eome ; great 
ships, deep laden, lie moored at our wharves ; the peo- 
ple totter, fainting for food; emaciated mothers pray 
for a few grains to save their suffering, dying children. 
"Back," says Coriolanus, "back slaves, no bread till 
you surrender your birthrights ; no food till you 
yield your liberties !" 

O shade of Tarquin ! how grinned thy horrid eyes 
with joy at these sufferings, we had fondly hoped 
gone forever. Jupiter frowned and filled the lurid 
sky with thunderbolts. "Back, back," says Corio- 
lanus, "no bread for starving Eomans." And stands 



22 CORIOLANUS: 

he there, daring to hope for mercy ? He, the con- 
demned by Heaven and earth ? People and fathers, 
can such things be in Rome ? 

Judge. We know thy guilt, Coriolanus. He that 
would harm Rome's lowest citizen should die, and you 
would starve the whole nation. Still, time was, 
when thou wert a Roman general ; we banish thee 
forever from Rome. 

Coriolanus. Must it be. Smile on, proud Attius, 
thy taunts are to me as the idle winds. Blow on, I 
fear thee not. Romans, have ye forgotten who led 
your conquering legions at Coriolia ? Have Yolscian 
dead so soon been buried ? Banished ! Be it so. Ye 
have smothered the burning fires and covered up the 
rumbling earthquake. I go, but with me goes Corio- 
lanus. [Exit l. proud and determined^] 

Attius. ISTow is Rome purged. Let the heralds 
proclaim that Roman citizens are no longer slaves, 
that corn and food do freely abound. [Exeunt omnes 
R. to martial music'] 

Scene II. — A street in Rome. Enter a Tribune 
r. and a young Roman u ; they meet c. 

Roman. Alas ! we are lost ! Rome is no more J 
But five miles away are the Yolscians, victorious, led 
by Coriolanus. Every battle have we lost, and not 
a cohort is left to defend the city. Lost — lost — there 
is no longer hope. 

Tribune. Young man, grieve not thus despairingly, 
the immortal gods can even yet save Rome. I'll 
hasten to the senate. That noble body shall dissuade 
the proud Coriolanus from destroying our homes, the 
homes of his native land. Go, pray for Rome. 

Roman. May the gods speed you safe, and may 
the shade of Romulus grant you success ! [Exit 
Tribune l. and the young Roman r. Wounded sol- 
diers pass through as the scene closes. Sloio music'] 

Scene III. — Without the walls of Rome. Drums 
in the distance. Enter Coriolanus and attend- 
ants L. 

Coriolanus. Banished from Rome ! Exiled from 



AN HISTORICAL DRAMINA : 23 

my native land and driven from all I love. The 
smothered fires have burst forth, and the covered 
earthquake shakes thee, proud Eome. [Enter Sena- 
tors r. with flag of truce'] 

Senator. Brave Coriolanus, behold the Roman 
Senate at thy feet. Spare us Rome! Spare us thy 
native land ! Great Coriolanus, before whom Rome's 
enemies have so often fled, spare us and ours ! Come, 
be again our leader, too well art thou now revenged. 

Coriolanus. Arise, false friends, ye have chosen ! 
Abide your choice. I come not now to talk ; that 
time is no more. Depart and tell your cherished 
families, that Death and Coriolanus come. This 
night shall see your doomed city in flames; to-mor- 
row's sun shall rise on its ashes. I, that denied you 
bread, will send you where none is needed. Go, and 
may your fate warn the world of ingratitude. [Stamp- 
ing'] Leave my lines. [Exeunt Senatores r. Drums in 
the distance, and enter Roman Ladies r., in mournful 
procession. His Wife and Mother come on c] 

Ladies. O great Coriolanus ! O brave Coriolanus ! 
Save us! Spare us our native land ! 

Coriolanus. Return females ; wives and mothers 
of ungrateful Romans! Return to your homes, and 
there repent the banishment of Rome's former cham- 
pion Depart, I say. 

Wife. Can'st thou, dearest Coriolanus, forget her, 
who so oft has cooled thy fevered brow? Forget- 
est thou her who watched over thee, who cared for 
thee, when so often painfully wounded ? Oh ! spare 
her Rome ! 

Coriolanus. I remember all that and more ; but 
I also remember that thou art a Roman. Come 
with me and revenge my disgrace, or return and 
perish with Rome. [She retires overpoioered with 
grief] 

Mother. Stay, son, and hear thy mother. She 
commands, she who has carried thee in tired arms. 
She who ministered to thy every want ; who happy, 
passed the weary night in anxious watching — thank- 
ful that her darling boy still lived. Thou mayest 
not refuse her. Oh ! Marcius, spare me Rome ! Go, 



24 CORIOLANUS : 

my son, lead these armies away. I conjure thee by a 
mother's holy love 

Coriolanus. I yield. Mother, thou hast triumphed. 
Borne thou hast saved, but thy son destroyed. [Exit 
l. ; with attendants] 

Ladies. O noble Coriolanus ! O generous Coriola- 
nus ! {Exeunt r., to joyous music. 



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